The Exchange Students from Hell!
by Damon Lowe
Summary: My friends and I invade Hogwarts for a year! Better summary inside. Draco/Lynx(oc) R/R
1. OC List and AN

A/N: Hello, folkses! My name is. . . no wait. Hehe. . . okey-dokers, if my writing style seems, uh, "familiar", than its probably coz it is. Most folks would know me as Lynx Gunning, author of the Inu-Yasha fanfic "Unicorns and Gryphons" or somethin' like that. That's perty bad. I cain't even remember the title of my fanfics! I'm such a lame-o.  
  
summary at bottom  
  
I'm trying for a change of pace with this fanfic. Since I've done Anime fics out the whazoo, I'm gonna do an HP one now! First off, I would like to mention who I am including in my mutilation of friends (and enemies) images. Here's a list of all of the poor saps I get to annoy and bash, with their nicknames (if there are any).  
  
-Katie Shaw (u dont mind if ur in this, do u?)  
  
-Fatima Hussain (AKA Tora and Stupid Cousin!)  
  
-Sidrah Mahmood (Stupid Cousin's, well, cousin! AKA Sid.)  
  
-Lisa Rogers (Comic relief. Not like we'll need it! AKA Cheetah or Cheamu.)  
  
-Lauren Widau (Lauren's such a loyal friend. Gullible, but loyal. AKA Kelso [she looks like Kelso off 'That 70's Show!'] )  
  
-Alexa Piatek (Why? I dunno. AKA Lexie.)  
  
-Nathan Record (Nathan bashing! AKA Arse and Baka!)  
  
-Zachary Armentrout (MAJOR Zach bashing! AKA Sunshine, Zwitter [German: Halfbreed], and Sunset.)  
  
-Katrina Cheeseman (Good friend. Goody-goody, but good friend. AKA Kayso[sp?].)  
  
-Allison Reed (Obnoxious. Dull. The kinda person you wanna hurt for no reason. She's still my friend, though. AKA Coyote.)  
  
-Epiphany Gallagher (ADHD victim. AKA Hyena.)  
  
-Christian Ward (Ooookay. Don't ask me why HE'S in this, he just is. Friend bashing!)  
  
Alrighty. . . I think that'll do it. Just a note:  
  
Enemies: Nathan Record, Zachary Armentrout  
  
Close Friends: Katie Shaw, Fatima Hussain, Sidrah Mahmood, Lisa Rogers, Lauren Widau, Allison Reed, Katrina Cheeseman, Epiphany Gallagher, Christian Ward  
  
Just Friends: Alexa Piatek (awww. . . poor Lexie!)  
  
Summary: Me and my friends invade Hogwarts for a year! Chaos, mayhem, and really loud music! Watch and listen as we proceed to confuse and dumbfound every single student in Hogwarts with our American slang, the :ab:normal nicknames, and the odd habit of constantly blaring Backstreet Boys! Rock on! Yes, I have managed to create a working boombox that works on Hogwarts grounds, and I have brought along half of my entire CD collection. 


	2. The First Night

I hadn't expected it to be like this! After thirteen years in an American school, Britian just sort of hits you pretty hard. Especially their magic school. Oh gods, that was one of the most amazing places I'd ever laid eyes on! A castle!  
  
My name is Lynx Gunning, or so they say. That's just what everybody here thinks I was named. I've come here to Hogwarts with several (and when I say several, I :mean: several!) of my friends. Katie, Sid, Tora, Cheamu, Kelso, Lexie, Kayso, Coyote, Hyena, and Christian. But, we had also been stuck with the scourge of Avon Middle School: Nathan Record and Zachary Armentrout. Good gods! What were those rotted teachers thinking!?  
  
Katie, Coyote, Stupid Cousin (Tora), Sid, and me had all been sorted into Slytherin. No big surprise there! Cheamu and Hyena were sorted into Ravenclaw. Kelso and Kayso were sorted into Gryffindor. Christian was the only Hufflepuff. Poor kid. Nathan, better known as Arse, was put into Slytherin with me. That child is pure evil! Zach, also known as Sunshine, was sorted into Hufflepuff. Gods look upon Christian!  
  
Stupid Cousin, at first glance, doesn't look like Slytherin material. And in fact, she isn't. That's why it was a good thing Katie, Coyote, and me had been sorted into the same house. Those Slytherin girls would've tore poor Stupid into shreads! The same went for Sid, although at times, she was capable of taking care of herself.  
  
After a rousing round of Kitty Boxing with Coyote and Tora, I won dibs on the closest seat to Draco Malfoy.  
  
According to American magic schools, even though we were twelve or thirteen, we all had a first through fourth year education, and this registered as our fifth year. When word of our age got 'round, quite a few of the "geniuses" of the school gave us a bit of trouble. Especially that Hermione Granger, who just couldn't understand how a thirteen-year-old could be allowed into fifth year classes. The answer was simple. Problem was, she refused to hear me out. Oh well. . . shut-up or put up, as my dad always says.  
  
Everbody was too quiet. It was the start of term banquet, and I had always imagined the Hall being a bit, I dunno. . . louder. So, I decided to create some noise. I aimed a large wad of paper at the back of Cheamu's head and chucked it as hard as I could. Right as soon as I threw it, I aimed a swift kick at Sid, who sat across from me. Perfect.  
  
Sid yelped out a :very: audible "Oi!!" right as Cheamu turned around and yelled "Hey!" at the top of her lungs. Let the chaos ensue! Sid fell for it, and thought Cheamu had managed to whack her, but Cheamu thought Sid had thrown the wad of paper at her. She uncrumpled the ball of notebook paper and held it up to Sid's eye level.  
  
"Read," Sid ordered. Cheamu turned the paper over. On it was a note reading:  
  
'Haha! U fell for it! That was a great trick, neh? Signed, Lynxey.'  
  
Cheamu gave me the evil eye, but I was laughing too hard to even care. Sid just muttered "arse" under her breath and returned to eating. Well, so much for starting something. But, two minute controversy seems to entertain me. We're all so easily amused.  
  
"Nice trick!" A boy a few seats away said loudly. I leaned forward to see Malfoy smirking. "Maybe you should try that on a Gryffindor. It would be funnier!"  
  
"Riiiiight," I answered back, looking at Sid and Stupid Cousin with a "does it really matter that much?" look.  
  
Stupid Cousin shook her head. "Don't bother, Lynx. You know Kelso would yell at you."  
  
"Kelso doesn't scare me," I said vainly. "Nobody does. Except maybe Cheamu and Hyena. But their insane, so they don't count!" I snatched an untouched chicken leg off Stupid Cousin's plate and proceeded to eat it without a second thought. She retaliated with a whiny "hey!" but grabbed another off of the giant platter in the center of the table.  
  
"You talk brave for a little girl," Malfoy sneered.  
  
"Dude! Yer trippin'!" I snapped at him. He blinked a few times.  
  
"Trippin'?"  
  
"Ya'll got a few issues ya'll needa work out, y'hear?" I said, mimicking my :practiced: southern accent.  
  
He didn't say much to me for the rest of dinner. When we were all dismissed to our houses, I caught up with Kelso and Kayso. We stood a little out of the way while we talked about the different kids we met at our own tables. But I guess Slytherins aren't supposed to talk with Gryffindors. Malfoy took the opportunity to get back at me for saying he was trippin'.  
  
"Well, what's this? A Gryffindor and a Slytherin actually talking :nicely: to each other!? Disgraceful," he muttered.  
  
"F you!" I shouted, whirling around to face him. I found him much closer than expected: right up about two inches from my face, height notwithstanding.  
  
"Oh really?" He had a creepy grin on his face. Aw, Hell! All Slytherins are creepy! Now :I'm: trippin'!  
  
"Such bad language for a little girl," Malfoy scolded.  
  
"You've got two years on me, man, I ain't :that: little!"  
  
"Poor grammar, too," he said, shaking his head. I knew this was a lose-lose situation, so I decided to call a truce. It was the only way I :wouldn't: lose!  
  
"Awright, you got me this time. We even now, y'hear? Truce, dawg?" I muttered, holding out my hand to shake.  
  
Malfoy took it, that oddly unnerving grin still plastered all over his face. "Truce. But that means you can't make fun of me, either. Believe me, I'd much rather have you as a friend than an enemy."  
  
It was chilling. There was no "shaking" involved in this hand shake. He just grabbed it and squeezed until my fingers were red, then let go and stalked off. That kid ain't right, I thought. He just ain't right.  
  
____________________________________________  
  
The common room I found interesting. Pretty, in fact, despite the fact that Katie and me had to half-carry half-drag Stupid Cousin from the Great Hall. She was beat, plain and simple, and so were the other three. Fatigue doesn't really register in my mind, unless a math lesson is involved. So Katie, Sid, and Stupid Cousin sort of walked up the stairs to the dorm. I couldn't sleep. There would have been no way. I can never just :sleep: right after I eat. So I decided to just sit on one of the couches and stare into the abyss and think about the meaning of life, like I always do when I'm bored and don't have a computer or book within easy reach. But, whatever I sat on was capable of talking, because I heard someone hiss "ouch!" when I sat on the longest couch. Looking over to my left, I saw the angry face of Draco Malfoy, contemplating whether or not he should shove me onto the floor. He decided against, obviously, because I remained on the couch. Sorta. I had to move off his legs so he could sit up.  
  
Without thinking, and probably because the heat was beginning to get to me, I pulled off my robes and dropped them in a pile at my feet. Underneath, I was wearing my favorite over-sized golden heart jeans with the shredded ends my hiking boots, which I seemed to wear with everything, and my half- a-size-too-small black Gryffindor shirt. That was brilliant: Gryffindor shirt on the first day. Oh well. . . I'm not exactly the swiftest of people. I sighed as I slid down a bit to stare at the ceiling.  
  
"Gryffindor?" Malfoy asked contemptably.  
  
"I have a Slytherin one, too, but this one looks nicer," I said quietly, closing my eyes. They were sore from having to focus for so long in the dim light of the castle. Dim :blue: light I can handle, dim :yellow: light I can't.  
  
"Sure," he said uncertainly. "You're from America aren't you? What's it like there? I've never been."  
  
"America? It's beautiful, Malfoy. I mean, England is too, but in its own way. America is beautiful, 'cause, well, everything looks so free. There's no order to anything. Nothing seems proper, like it does here. I can't stand order. Grassy fields aren't supposed to have order, y'know?" I laughed quietly. At first, I didn't think I'd miss home, but the truth of the matter was, I actually did. I missed Indiana, even though all it was was corn fields and the like. But. . . it was my :home:, and nothing could change that. "I miss home. There wasn't much to home, but I miss what little there was." I sat up straighter and stared at him with the loneliest expression I could manage. Not sad, just. . . lonely. "I really do," I whispered.  
  
Before I broke down into tears, I tried to change the subject. Anybody smarter would've just got up and left, but I'm an idiot, and I didn't. And I was slow, too. I didn't actually break down and bawl like a baby, but a few tears I couldn't hold in slid down the side of my face. They burned, too. Hot, I thought. I don't know why I thought that, but I guess my brain wasn't working properly, so all I :could: manage to think of was "hot."  
  
I must've struck a cord in Malfoy that nobody had before. I probably :did: look pretty pitiful. And I was in another world, so I didn't have the mind to pull away when he hugged me. I just went limp. Never, I thought. Never before. But, why him? Yes, he's cute, but gods! This kid is mean. Mean to my friends, at any rate.  
  
Little did either of us know was that Nathan Record, one of my worst enemies, whether he knew it or not, was watching. Him and Malfoy hadn't hit it off so good, and now he some sort of grudge against him. Or at least :something: important enough to spy on us for!  
  
Nathan didn't matter, though. I was in heaven. No better. Heaven wouldn't have allowed us to fall asleep together on the couch that night, Malfoy having slid onto his side until he was :sort of: laying down, with me beside him. I lay with my arms tucked up underneath my chin, from some odd, unbreakable habit of sleeping like a cat, and my head buried in Malfoy's chest. By the end of the next day, the entire school would know, although nobody but Nathan realized it at the time. The entire school would know. But, they wouldn't know the truth. Nathan's evil, and he'll stretch the truth to get what he wants.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Well, folks, whaddya think? Wow. I think that's the longest chapter I've ever written!  
  
This is dedicated to the noble acts of the IHN: I Hate Nathan Club. A club designed specifically for those who wish to have an excuse to say mean and nasty things about Nathan Record. We don't actually :do: anything, we just root up as much embarassing information about Nathan as we can. We have no life.  
  
Don't worry. Malfoy and me will be on a first-name basis in the next chapter!  
  
Chao! 


	3. The Next Morning

Okey dokers. It's sleep deprived Lynx, sounding off! Oh gods, I :have: to get some sleep! I'm losing it!  
  
KT: You never had it.  
  
Me: Shizuka ni, baka!  
  
Bleh. . . Okay, now that :that's: outta my system, on with the madness!! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------ Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I think you should know that by now. I quit. No more disclaimers! ____________________________________________________________________________ ______  
  
The next morning, Katie and me were up before the others, so decided on a bit of early breakfast. We met Kayso and Kelso in the corridors on the way to the Great Hall. Kayso looked great. She always does. About the only thing wrong with the child is the fact that she's so perfect!  
  
But, Kelso had seen better days. Early stges of delirium I called it. She was ranting about the lack of television and basketball. Leave it up to Kelso to ruin a great thing with basketball! Ignoring pretty much everything she said, the four of us walked to the Great Hall, getting lost at least once.  
  
We might've broken a few rules in the Hall, all four of us occupying the Gryffindor table. Granger was already there, which was beyond my comprehension. I though I had gotten up early! She looked at Katie and me angrily.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Granger demanded.  
  
"What do you think?" Katie countered. "We're eatin'. Duh!"  
  
"But you're a Slytherin, and you belong at the Slytherin table!"  
  
"What? Ya'll gonna stop us er somethin'? I'd fancy seein' that, man," I drawled. Lazy, I thought. You're just plain lazy, Lynx. I :could: talk properly, when I wanted to. But I don't bother with it unless I'm planning on impressing somebody. Or trying to get a good grade. Grades always meant more to me than a whole lot of things, which most people who knew me wouldn't expect.  
  
"American slang," Granger muttered in return. "Why can't Americans talk correctly? Do you all have speech problems!?"  
  
I growled. "I ain't got no speech problems, man. There just ain't never been nobody that cares 'nough to fix it! Ever'body talks like this in mosta America, so nobody says nothin' 'bout it."  
  
"What? You people call that English!? That's not English! That's a foreign language!"  
  
"Not :everybody: talks like that in America, Hermione," Kayso cut in. "Just Lynx. She's lazy. And really mean, too!"  
  
THWAP! Kayso flinched as I smacked her in the back of the head. "Ah do it again if you says anythin' else, Kayso!"  
  
"Lynx," Kelso scolded.  
  
"Feh. Don't give me that bullcrap, Kelso. You know I'm not afraid to hit you, too! I'm sicka this. I think I see Cheamu, anyway," I snapped out, and stalked off to the Ravenclaw table, where Cheamu and Lexie sat talking quietly and waving flyers for IHN in each other's faces. We were all looking round for new members here, and that would be easy, since pretty much every single Slytherin in the school already wanted him dead.  
  
Cheamu met my angry gaze with an evil, maniacal grin and a sideways glance that told me she had a really nasty plan in store for Nathan. And the way she laughed when she looked at the opening doors told me the plan also involved Sunshine bashing. I followed her laughing gaze to the doors, that Sunshine had just stumbled through. He looked dead. Not like that wasn't funny. When he saw me he rushed forward to stand in front of me, out of reach so he didn't get clobbered. I never needed a logical reason to hit Sunshine, except for that he just existed period.  
  
"Goose!" He yelled. That was his trademark. His vocabulary seemed limited to "goose", "so", and "shut-up". I didn't do anything. I just glared at him.  
  
"Jackass," I finally muttered. Then, as a final measure, I said even louder, "Zwitter." Zwitter, as far as I could find out, meant "halfbreed" in German.  
  
"What's sfitter mean?" Oh yeah, I forgot. That's also included in his vocabulary, along with "why".  
  
"You numbskull," I taunted. "It's Zwitter. And for the last time, I'm not gonna tell you!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"'Cause I said so, you demented psychopath!" I yelled. Bad move. Snape happened to have been walking directly behind Sunshine at that moment. Whoops, I thought.  
  
"What is the problem here?" He sounded irritated, with a hint of "Oh Lord, not this again" in his voice.  
  
Sunshine pointed at me and said, "She called me a zwitter!" Wow! He said it right! "What's zwitter mean?"  
  
Snape narrowed his eyes. "It means 'halfbreed' in German, you idiot. She must've had a good reason to call you that, so go to your own table!" With that, he turned right back around and sauntered out of the Great Hall.  
  
Good, I thought. He doesn't like Sunshine any more than I do! This could be a good thing!  
  
Defeated, Sunshine shuffled slowly off to the Hufflepuff table, just as Draco rushed up beside me. He looked ready to kill that pathetic loser, Sunshine.  
  
"Armentrout giving you trouble? Want me to hurt him?"  
  
"Taken care of, Draco," I answered lightly, eyes narrowed behind my red- copper rimmed glasses. I turned and sat down across from Cheamu and pulled Draco down with me. He looked shocked for a moment because we were at the Ravenclaw table and not Slytherin.  
  
"Wow. That was cool!" Cheamu said in her naturally deranged voice.  
  
Lexie broke in. "Hey guys, guess what? We've gotten almost half of the Ravenclaws in IHN!"  
  
Draco looked at the three of us confusedly.  
  
"It's the I Hate Nathan Club," I explained, watching Katie come over to sit down next to Cheamu. "It's a club for anybody and everybody who hates Nathan Record!"  
  
"Then I'm in," Draco said flatly.  
  
"Righteous," I answered stupidly. Righteous?, I thought. I knew where :that: came from. It was from the pure boredom of sitting through science fair. Three hours of absolutely nothing. I was so bored, I decided to say "righteous". Sadly, it stuck.  
  
"Don't look now, but look what just blew in from hell," Katie said, pointing at the doors.  
  
Everbody in unison turned their heads to see Nathan Record, strolling in like he owned the place. He looked from one end to the other of the Hall, as if looking for someone. Indeed, he was. And that someone was me and Draco. Marching over like some sort of king, he grinned maliciously. Once in hearing range, he said slyly, "Well well. Look who it is. It's a surprise to see :you: two together."  
  
"Whatchoo playin' at, dude?" I said dangerously, leaning against Draco.  
  
"Like you don't know," Nathan challenged. When nobody answered, he continued, "Oh. You know alright. You just won't tell anybody. Fine. I'll go find somebody who :will: listen to me."  
  
"You keep yer nose outta our business, Record. We didn't come here to start a war with you. Leave now, before one of us decides to hurt you," I growled. Draco narrowed his eyes as if to emphasize that that "somebody" would most likely be him. Nathan must not have been in the mood right then, because he didn't hesitate to stalk off to talk with a group of Hufflepuff boys gathered round the end of their table. He started whispering excitedly to them, pointing at Draco and me every so often. The Hufflepuffs' eyes grew wider at each passing moment.  
  
"He's up to something," Cheamu muttered suspiciously, "that I don't think I like."  
  
"Lynx! Lynx!" I heard Stupid Cousin's squeaky voice echoing all through the Hall. "Lynx! Are you alright? What did that arse say?"  
  
"He's up to something," Cheamu repeated. "Try and avoid him for a while if you can. At least until everything is cleared up and back to normal."  
  
Everyone nodded, just to let her know we had heard her.  
  
Sid, not liking to dwell on bad things, changed the subject with a loud, "What do we have planned for today?"  
  
"What do you think?" Draco muttered darkly. "Double Potions with Gryffindors, what else?"  
  
Everyone but Cheamu and Lexie sighed. Great, the perfect beginning to what would turn out to be a really, :really: bad day. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____  
  
Sorry it's so short. My arm started getting sore and my vision's blurring again. I'll try in the next chapter or something to say what it was that Nathan's going to go around telling everybody.  
  
Egads. Lynxey needs a vacation, yo. Thank the gods Spring Break is next week! Yeehaw! 


	4. Hell's Day

Wheee! Update time. Fun-ness. I'm on spring break this week, which means everybody's stuck with me for a whole five days! Yaaay!!  
  
Okey-dokers. Review junkers:  
  
Jinnyah: First of all, how could I steal a character with the name of a wild cat? Hmmm? Hey, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt: if your Lynx is 13, has shoulder length, naturally curly goldish blonde hair, red and green eyes, and wears really odd colored glasses. Lynx is ME. She is who I am, so therefore I could not have copied your character. And besides, I'd never read any of your fanfics before, so how would I know about your Lynx?  
  
Winged Seraphin: If all of my OC's seem a bit too American, well, that's coz my gang and me ARE American. Look, the way they talk in the story, Lynx included, is how their real counterparts talk in real life. I can't deny real life. But, if Rowling's character's are seeming too American, I'm really sorry. I just don't know anything but American.  
  
KT Ichijouji: Hehe. . . thankies! I knew you'd like it! I'll make a point to call her Cheamu Gible in this chapter. I've said something to her about it, and it's not Chea-freakin'-mu Gible. It's either Chea-freakin'-mu or Cheamu Gible. I dunno. Personally, I think she should be classified "Legally Insane!" Grrr. . . Stupid Cousin pisses me off, though. She's still in IHN in this fanfic, even if she now likes Nathan!  
  
____________________________________________________________________________ _____________  
  
If Pre-Algebra class with that annoying Yorkshire git, Mr. Green, back at home was a nightmare, than Double Potions was hell. The dungeon would've been nice, had there not been dismembered animal parts and eyeballs in jars. Egads! I'd take Mr. Green over :that: any day!  
  
Katie and I made it a point to sit in the very back, at the table beside Kayso's and Hermione's, and directly behind Tora and Sid. In front of Kayso and Hermione were Kelso and Coyote, which got a few stares from several of the other students, along with a few "That Gryffindor's sitting with a Slytherin!"  
  
The greatest laugh of all was, however, when Draco and Harry came in half a minute later than everyone else and were forced to share a table!  
  
"That'll teach ya to be late, won't it, Draco," I whispered as Draco passed my table. He gave me one of his "Say it again and you're dead" looks. "Oooh. I'm terrified!"  
  
The whole damn hour and a half passed like it was an eternity. I was more than happy to leave, although Potions did happen to be the one class I was looking forward to. Besides Care of Magical Creatures, of course!  
  
We got lucky and had CMC (A/N: I'm allowed to abbreviate, ain't I?) with the Ravenclaws. Lexie had to keep "susshing" Cheamu and I had to smack and poke Hyena nonstop. When Hyena refused to shut-up, Draco shoved her forward, and she lost her balance. She fell facedown in the grass. It was all I could do to keep from busting out laughing. After that, she went and stood by Coyote for protection, which was fine with me, because that meant I didn't have to put up with her annoying laughing the entire time.  
  
CMC wasn't all that great, considering it was the first day. I was bored to death by Divination, which wasn't going to help my mood any. Not at all. We had Divination with the Hufflepuffs.  
  
Katie, Tora, Sid, Draco and me crowded around one of those ridiculous tables. The heat was killing me. I'm terrified of the heat, to tell the truth. I've passed out from heatstroke before. Not pleasant.  
  
Stares from the Hufflepuffs followed us all the way across the room, some suspicious, others digusted, and a few quite confused. None of us liked it.  
  
"It's Nathan," Sid said quietly once we were all seated. "I know it's Nathan. He told those Hufflepuffs something about you and Draco this morning at breakfast. Cheamu's right: Nathan's up to something, and I don't like it either." She looked nervously at some of the closer Hufflepuffs. It was a group of four girls, all with disgusted expressions, directed at me. Why was it always me? "I'd hate to think what it was he told them," Sid continued, turning back to face us. She shook her head. "With Nathan, we can only imagine."  
  
"Yes, I know what you mean," I said, half to myself, half to the others. "We'll find out. One way or another, we'll find out." I looked maniacally at the nearby Hufflepuffs. "You," I said loudly, pointing at one of the girls, "come here."  
  
She got up reluctantly and walked over slowly, looking back at her friends. "What do you want, Slytherin?" It was a cold tone.  
  
"Nathan Record. What did he tell the Hufflepuffs this morning? I don't believe I've heard it yet," I said in the kindest voice I could manage, which was still dripping with hate and anger.  
  
"I would think you would know," she answered accusingly. I shook my head. "Well, that's new," the Hufflepuff continued confusedly. She wrung her hands nervously, like she was trying to find the correct way to say something. "Uhm, you see, Record said that, uh, you and Draco. . ." she trailed off, obviously not wanting to say what she had intended on saying. "Oh, I can't bring myself to say it!" She looked distraught.  
  
Katie's eyes grew wide. "Ohhhhh," she said. Everybody looked at her. "I thought that's what it was!" She had a strange grin on her face. The Hufflepuff just nodded.  
  
Suddenly it hit me. "Ahh! I get it now!" My voice was almost cheerful, which is one of my odd ways of showing anger. "He's been goin' round sayin' Draco and me-"  
  
"Yup," Katie cut me off.  
  
"Ah," I said. I looked at the Hufflepuff. "Don't believe a word he says," I laughed. "He's out to start rumors. Just. . . don't spread what he says, got it?"  
  
"You mean, it's not true?"  
  
"Of course not! Look, I may be insane, but I'm not stupid!"  
  
"Oh good. I was hoping something of that sort didn't happen here!" She smiled awkwardly and pratically bounced back to her table.  
  
Sid, Tora, and Draco still didn't get it. "What was she talking about?" Tora asked.  
  
"Believe me, you don't want to know," I answered. "You don't want to know."  
  
****************************  
  
By the time lunch came round, the rumor was cleared up among the fifth year Hufflepuffs. The gang and I barely made it through the doors to the Great Hall when Cheamu rushed us and ran head on into Katie. That didn't stop her, though. She was bouncing up and down and repeating "Guess what?" over and over. I put a hand on each of her shoulders and held her down to the ground.  
  
"Cheamu Gible!" I yelled in her face. "Would you be so kind as to SHUT UP!!!"  
  
"Uh huh!" Cheamu said loudly, nodding her head quickly. "But guess what?"  
  
"What?" Katie asked sarcastically.  
  
"I know what the rumor is! I know what it is!"  
  
"Is she always like that?" Draco whispered. I just nodded.  
  
Cheamu finally stopped bouncing around like a lunatic and took a deep breath. "Okay," she said, her voice borderline insanity and calm, "Nathan started the rumor that you two," she pointed at Draco and me, and her voice dropped to a whisper, "slept together!" That said, all control was tossed out the window and Cheamu was back to bouncing around like and idiot.  
  
Draco looked like he had been hit by lightning. "So that's what you refused to tell me?"  
  
"Yup," Katie yelled. "So, that's cleared up, I'm starved!"  
  
"Heya! Ja ja!" I shouted back, mostly over Cheamu's hyperactive hollering.  
  
"Wait a minute," Draco interrupted. "You mean to tell me that you're just going to ignore something like that? It doesn't even seem to bother you that much!"  
  
"Exactly," I answered in a preppy tone, "it :doesn't: bother us. It's not true, so why worry about it? And since it :isn't: true, the rumor will blow over faster than it was started because there's no proof to back up Nathan's story, except what he says. Besides, we have friends in every single house. They'll help clear it up. You see, this is how it was back home. Nathan and the IHN gang starting rumors about each other, just to see who would get more pissed. Usually it was Nathan, 'cause more people hated him than us!"  
  
"I will never understand Americans," Draco said confusedly, shaking his head. "Never."  
  
Needless to say, the rest of the day got worse, as more people heard the rumor. The fifth year Hufflepuffs were the only ones who one might have called our "allies." But, it didn't matter. Everything was over by the next night, and our lives went back to normal, whatever :normal: is!  
  
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That sounds like the end of the story, but it's not. Far from it! Sorry it was so much shorter than usual. I'll try and make the next one longer! It'll be my gang's first to trip to Hogsmeade, I think. Ja! That's what I'll do! Heehee. . . I'm so organized! NOT! 


	5. The Orioles Terrorize Hogsmeade!

Woah. . . ok. I swear, if I don't get a soda RIGHT now, I will scream. I've gone through almost four glasses of water today because there is absolutely NO soda left in this house! Grrrrr! I'm gonna be sick from all this water!  
  
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The rest of the week past slowly and uneventfully, and Saturday was :very: welcome. The gang had gotten all of their laptops working somehow, much to the amazement of all the pure witches and wizards. We would've sat and watched Eminem music videos all day long had it not been our first chance to go to Hogsmeade. Shopping! Oh gods, there's nothing I love more than listening to my music than shopping! *squeee!*  
  
We all tricked Coyote into riding with Sunshine and Nathan, while :we: got to ride in peace. In one carriage, or whatever the folks round there called 'em, were Katie, Kelso, Draco, and me. I had worn my Guns 'n' Roses shirt that day just to piss Kelso off.  
  
To understand Kelso, you have to realize that she is :highly: religious. Me personally: it gets annoying. I mean, somebody says "Oh my God" and Kelso gives the yutz an evil eye like you wouldn't believe. That girl's eyes shoot daggers or I'll get out! And she wonders why I beat up on her! Tora and Sid may have been goody-goodies, but they were Muslim! I never understood Islam, and I never intend to! Sid and Tora are tolerable. Uh. . . back to the story.  
  
Kelso and me were back to singing "This is the Song that Never Ends", just like the "good ol' days". That's what we used to do on field trips with this boy named Matt. Me and whoever I was with would sing "This is the Song that Never Ends" as loud as we could, and for the :entire: trip. I'm not kiddin'! And if it wasn't that, we were singing along with Weird Al Yankovic in the Widau's (Kelso's family) van. The Our Shepherd lot was insane, plain and simple.  
  
So, today, we were singing it all over again, finally getting Katie to join in. Draco just stared at us, wide-eyed, looking about ready to jump out and run all the way home. He yelled at us to shut-up once, but we just sang louder than ever, and he didn't say another word. Staring out the window, not saying anything, not looking at us. Nothing. So eventually we stopped, but Draco started complaining about having the song stuck in his head all day, so we started singing it again.  
  
By the time we reached Hogsmeade, I thought Draco was going to fall out of the "carriage" and run for the hills screaming in agony. He didn't, thankfully. But he lit out for town faster than I could've imagined. It was classic.  
  
"Kodak moment!" I yelled as we watched him trip and stumble on his way to hide somewhere in Hogsmeade. That was a family trademark, along with "Scooby-Doo B" whenever somebody asked where the car had been parked. My family is weird.  
  
We didn't bother hunting for him. It was high time we got a bit of freedom to just be our loud-ass American selves without somebody questioning us. As we traveled through the streets, we noticed mostly the odd people in the town. Katie and me began yelling, "Popcorn! Getcher popcorn here! Cotton candy, anyone? Plastic glow sticks! Don't leave the circus without one!"  
  
Kelso gave us her dagger-eyes. "That's mean, guys," she scolded. Actually, it was more of a whine now that I think about it.  
  
"Give it up, Kelso," I sneered. "Remember? We're the barbarians! Just like Mr. Green said. We're the loud-ass, barbaric Yanks, and gods-dammit! I'm gonna live up to that name!" I would've ranted more, but I couldn't stop laughing, and Katie was already laughing herself to death, too. Kelso just shook her head, turned around, and went to find Kayso and Hermione. "Awww. . . who needs ya?" I yelled down the street. "We've got Chea-freakin'-mu Gible!! Booya!"  
  
Witches and wizards all along the street stare at us in disbelief, some of them muttering under their breath. It's not like we needed to leave town to get the same effect, but after about a minute, everyone back in Avon would've gone back to their regularly scheduled day, without another thought to it. But Brits are funny. They keep staring like we were the plague or something.  
  
When they still hadn't gone back to ignoring us, Katie whispered, "Did we shoot the queen or something?" We both lost it. I know at that moment, if I had known "God Save the Queen" I would've sung it. But, I didn't, and instead settled on "This is the Song that Never Ends". Again.  
  
They all kept staring. I finally stopped after about two times through and walked casually back down the street like nothing happened. When Katie was within earshot, I said contemptably, "Fureners." That was, yet again, another family trademark, mutilated to my amusement. A word I decided to define as "describing one of a country other than the United States; an unbelievably annoying person, country of origin notwithstanding; or a person who can't drive, preferably Ohio drivers." Sorry, Eva, to insult Ohio, but blast it all! Those folks cain't drive!  
  
"You know what this place needs?"  
  
"What? Hogsmeade or Hogwarts?" Katie asked.  
  
"Both!"  
  
"Uhm. . . I dunno."  
  
"Mountain Dew!" I grinned psychotically (is that a word?). "Gods rot it! This place freakin' needs culture! Where's the rotted Pizza Hut©? Where's the rotted Taco Bell©? Blast it all, where's the rotted Mickey D's!?" I continued to rant about all my favorite fast food restaraunts back home that I hadn't seen since I left New York on my flight to London. I spotted Nathan staring through a window, Coyote beside him. I ran up to him, spun him around, and grabbed him by the shirt collar. "Nathan! Oh thank the gods! Have you seen a Burger King© around here?" It was melodramatic(sp?), I know, but it got a good laugh out of everyone. Even Nathan. He may have been a jackass, but he was a jackass with a good sense of humor. (lol)  
  
"I don't know about you, but I could really use a 42 oz. Vanilla Coke© right about now!" I laughed. I missed those 99 cent 42 ouncers.  
  
We never found Draco. We saw him through the crowds a few times, but there was no way any of us could get to him. Coyote got hauled off by Hyena to look at racing brooms with Ron and Harry. About three minutes later we ran into Sid and Tora. Raising holy hell along the way, Katie, Sid, Tora, Nathan, and me wandered the streets for hours, hoping to find a shop that even mildly interested us. But there wasn't even an Ae'ropostale or Abercrombie store in sight, so it was pretty pointless.  
  
The morning ended quickly, and the group rotated around until it was Katie, Draco, Nathan, and me in one "carriage". Draco wasn't too pleased, but he had witnessed the havoc we wreaked, and admitted he had to admire our style.  
  
Since the original escapade with Nathan starting that rotted rumor, things had gotten less complicated between everyone. Nathan wasn't hated to the core as he was at first, and he had proven himself worthy of being in the gang. All hopes of the ultimate IHN were shattered, and only Lexie remained behind. By the end of the day, the Avon Orioles' only enemy was Sunshine. Heh. . . Avon Orioles. That's what we are, and that's what we chose to be called. The Oriole's formed into not only the exchange students, but the gang in general. By nightfall, the Orioles were considered to be, through all sorts of different connections: Katie, Sid, Tora, Nathan, Kelso, Kayso, Lexie, Cheamu, Coyote, Hyena, Draco, Hermione, Ron, Harry, and of course, me. Sunshine, although a true Oriole by law, wasn't included in the Oriole's as Hogwarts knew us, which went over just fine.  
  
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That sounds like the end, don't it? Hardly. . .  
  
I realize there was a :lot: of cussing, obscene ranting, and general rudeness in this chapter. Sorry for that, but think about it: I coulda made it a :whooooole: lot worse!  
  
And that was kinda the funniest chapter yet! Review please! I'll continue if I get five more reviews! Multiple entries of the same review count, ya'll. I just wanna make sure ppl care enough to see the next chapter!  
  
*~Lynxey~* 


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